Ask Andy: What’s a kindest approach to mangle adult with a guy?

Ask Andy: Whats a kindest proceed to mangle adult with a guy?
Get some (Picture: Charlotte Cockell for )

Are we considering a midlife gash during gayness? Is worrying about a Trump administration branch we into a park dais alcoholic? Is your mother whinging we for a threesome?

Metro’s proprietor anguish uncle Andy is here for we buddy.

Like a less-chintzy Marjorie Proops.

Oh, balls: It’s time to speak about subsequent a belt masculine hygiene

Fair warning – he specialises in coruscating invective.

Not to discuss overly-wordy bulls***.

So if we need assistance with housemate politics or your hush-hush gak habit, write to a sesquipedalian seer of SE15 – Andy Hill.

Ask Andy: Whats a kindest proceed to mangle adult with a guy?
‘Sesquipedalian – really, Metro?’ (Picture: Getty)

Dear Andy,

I’ve been with my beloved 7 years, and it’s time for a change.

Cliche as this sounds, it indeed isn’t him – it’s me.

He’s lovely, kind, humorous and good with my friends.

I only don’t imagination him any more. And now in my mid-twenties, we need to find The One.

Whenever we try to tell him though, we remove my nerve.

Is there a kind, peaceful proceed of violation off a long-term relationship?



Ask Andy: Whats a kindest proceed to mangle adult with a guy?
‘I don’t adore we anymore, Professor Brian Cox.’ (Picture: Getty)

Dear Bexluv486,

I used to imagination myself as a world-class consultant in a wily art of ‘conscious uncoupling’.

A sensei of splitting-up.

A Jedi master of jilting

My technique was to clearly, patiently and resolutely set out a reasons because we should part.

Probably over a crater of tea.

I’d take all of a blame, naturally.

She’d cry, I’d comfort her, afterwards we’d have savage, emotionally-complicated sex.

I wouldn’t hang about – if we were vital together, I’d make certain my subsequent gaff was lined adult to make a transition as frictionless as possible.

We’d sojourn friends, calm once in a while; accommodate for coffee, beer, even a peculiar impertinent hook-up.

It was nice, actually, and most fun was had by all.

couple in bed
You get a thought (Picture: Getty)

Not to blow my possess wail here though a girls never got over me.

The tender, courteous proceed we wound adult a regretful entanglements set a benchmark for attract and rightness that no destiny beloved could ever equal.

So a kindest approach, counterintuitively, is indeed to make your beloved hatred you.

That way, his subsequent partner looks a saint in comparison, and he depends himself propitious to be absolved of your meaningless ass.

Do it quick.

Pretend we cheated on him.

F*** it, indeed lie on him.

Be a sum bitch, for his sake.

Make him charity a day we ever sullied his mattress.

One day, he competence even appreciate we for it.


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You can also find Andy on Twitter and Facebook 

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Posted by on May 14 2017. Filed under Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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