International Sex Worker Day: What sex work taught me about men

(Picture: Getty/

It would be easy to contend that we don’t demeanour like a sex worker. 

Can your vagina indeed be depressed?

But these days, what does a sex workman indeed demeanour like?

Once a suspicion competence have been a lady with whiten blonde hair and outrageous boobs. But not anymore. Sex work is something that all forms of women from all walks of life do, for opposite reasons. Some of us wish money, some of us wish adventure, and some of us wish to do something exciting.

When we started doing sex work we was 19. we had changed to London to investigate during a prestigious university, and we was a prolonged approach from home. we fast realised how costly a city was. If we was going to do any of a things I’d spent years forgetful of doing, we indispensable some-more money.

I had a partial time job, though creation £6 an hour didn’t make a disproportion to my life – that wasn’t even one drink.

My crony Allie* told me that she had a approach of creation income on a side, and that it was many easier than pouring pints in a West End’s misfortune pub.

(Picture: Getty)

It was spanking group for money.

I laughed. This was a nice, normal girl. Nice, normal girls didn’t do things like that. Did they?

Prude wasn’t a word you’d use to report me. I’d had a lot of sex and we was open-minded. Plus, we devoted Allie. She was a kind of essential chairman who always had painkillers in their purse and knew how to get around London. we suspicion that if she was doing something like that, it would be okay.

‘Isn’t it dangerous?’ was a initial thing we asked her. ‘No some-more dangerous than going home with someone after a night out,’ she replied, and we realised she was right. At slightest when we was operative we would tell someone where we was and make certain that we had a ‘safe call’.

My initial ever event was a double with her. She met me during Baker Street tube and escorted me to a groundwork flat, that looked like any other imagination London home. Only it wasn’t. There were whips and spanking paddles and manners and all kind of things.

(Picture: Getty)

When a male arrived it was tough not to giggle. He looked so normal. He had brought a bottle of booze with him and we chatted for a while, before Allie told him to take his garments off, and started spanking him. This time, my pursuit was to watch, not to do anything. Apparently, he favourite a chagrin of carrying another chairman in a room.

The male left and Allie gave me £50 for my partial of it. Looking behind on how many I’ve done given it doesn’t seem like much, though carrying warranted scarcely a whole day’s compensate in reduction than dual hours was amazing.

I started operative with Allie more, training a ropes. She had some unchanging clients who were happy to let me try things out on them, gay to have dual girls’ attention.

Before long, we was prepared to do it on my own. we motionless that we would offer veteran dominatrix services, as good as charity to be spanked myself.

(Picture: Getty)

My initial event was horrible. He was a high-powered businessman and edition mogul, who we recognized immediately. He talked down to me for a whole event and attempted to speak me into touching his penis, notwithstanding a fact we had done it transparent that we would not yield any passionate services.

After he left we counted my income (£200) and attempted to feel improved about things. But not carrying Allie around to discuss to felt lonely, and a income felt hollow.

I roughly gave adult on a whole thing, though we had another event requisitioned that we wanted to honour.

This time, it was totally different. The biggest doctrine we schooled when we was starting out was that a really posh or really abounding group were a ones who were trouble. Posh group didn’t see we as a person, they saw we as something they had paid for.

(Picture: Getty)

Blokes who’d saved adult for a session, who had had to make an bid to get there, would yield we better. Plus, they didn’t have a cockiness to keep seeking about sex once you’d pronounced no.

I never accepted since group would book someone whose advert pronounced ‘I do not yield passionate services’. Looking back, we consider it’s since they wanted to feel like they were removing something they weren’t ostensible to, like we was giving adult domain that we didn’t wish to give.

Many of a group who came to see me, or any of a other girls, were married. They would always contend a same things, about their mother not removing their illusion and not wanting to hurt their family over something so small.

Sometimes we would try to speak them into revelation their wives, observant that they shouldn’t assume only since they’re ‘nice women’ they wouldn’t be into a bit of slap and torment in a bedroom.

A lot of it was generational. When immature group would come and see me we would tell them to date, and to try assembly women that way, that they didn’t need to compensate for it.

(Picture: Deidre Spain for

Older group seemed to like profitable for it. It meant they could compartmentalise everything. They also favourite a suspicion of giving me money. They wanted to hear about my grade and my friends and a PhD we was formulation to do.

Seeing me as crafty and sanctimonious that they were sponsoring my preparation instead of profitable to play eccentric games done them feel improved about themselves.

I was constantly vacant by how able group are of convincing themselves that what they are doing is right.

After dual and a half years of working, we graduated and took a pursuit outward of London. we could have substantially started again in my new city, rebuilding my brand, though somehow it didn’t seem like a right thing anymore.

The income we done was useful, it got me by uni but removing into some-more debt. And a life knowledge was amazing. we met group from all walks of life, all backgrounds, all professions. People who we would never have had a event to meet.

So while we don’t devise to go behind to sex work, it was partial of what made me as a person, and I’m blissful that we did it.

As told to 

MORE: What we skip about being a sex workman (and a few things we don’t)

MORE: Dominatrix secrets: Typical clients each sex workman has come across

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Posted by on Jun 2 2017. Filed under Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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