How to take a dick pic that women competence indeed wish to see

Make certain a lady has indeed ASKED to see a design of your penis initial (Picture: Getty/Metro)

We can’t repudiate a arise of a dick pic. (Sorry.)

This teen has only desirous a initial ever transgender doll

We can question WHY they’re sent, but a law is they’re going to keep entrance and coming. (Again, frank apologies.)

So if cock pics are here to stay and you’re going to send them willy-nilly (what? That one was good), we feel it’s a avocation to during slightest make certain we don’t balls this up. (My relatives would be so proud.)

So here is a beam to creation your dick pic a thing of beauty that women (and men) indeed wish to see – so prolonged as they have privately asked to see it first, of course.

Think over your winky

(Picture: Metro.co.uk)

Yes, he’s your honour and fun and you’re OBSESSED — though a target of your print will unequivocally be looking during some-more than only your penis.

At your bedding, for instance.

Keep it clean, for chrissakes.

And, please, no Playboy duvet set. Even if you’re Hugh Hefner.

And don’t have a raise of soaking on a building in a background. That ain’t a kind of unwashed child we’re after.

Keep this out of shot (Picture: Getty)

And (and I’ve had this) do not have your taxation info fibbing on a bottom of a bed.

It looks like Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs got we all prohibited and bothered.

And that’s only a hold too modern, even for me.

Basically, bad bedding, your pants on a carpet, and your Mar profits are distracting and mangle a mood somewhat.

They’re a homogeneous of a porn vid lady who’s left a plaque on a bottom of her unclothed heels.

Don’t be Sticker Woman.

Like any good photographer, consider over a evident subject. See what a spectator will see.

So maybe stand a credentials things out?

And unequivocally try to not get your sleeping partner in shot. (My crony got that. Seriously.)

Dress for sexcess

Some suspicion needs to go into your wardrobe choices (Picture: Getty)

My initial ever (unsolicited) cock pic tender me hugely.

Not since of his noted member — though since of how white his boxers were.

I’d never seen anything like it! Sparkling, kids!

Generally this is a good thing — though not in a universe of ‘this branch we on, yeah?’

It’s going to unequivocally harm if a intent of your enterprise totally ignores what’s in your Calvins and instead asks that soaking antiseptic we use and what heat you’d recommend.

So hang to dim undercrackers. Easy.

And do not be wearing hosiery in these photos.

There is no cock on Earth fanciful adequate to take a eyes divided from there.

Don’t be a second dick in a photo, okay?

Ready for your close-up?

Time to find your many graceful shot (Picture: Shutterstock/Metro)

Can we advise no props circuitously that can be used for unlucky distance comparison?

And by props we meant a tube of Pringles or a string bud.

If Junior is teeny or terrifying (and we ain’t no distance queens here) don’t pull courtesy to that.

Know your angles. Have a play around (stop it) and find a many graceful angle for we and your desired one.

(Do we need to contend this? But greatfully do be erect. A flabby print implies a certain ‘meh’ opinion to a propitious guy/gal you’re messaging.)

And consider about lighting, of course.

Not only to emanate a mood (although there is something to be pronounced for ‘mysterious’) though to literally uncover you, both of you, in your best light.

Stark lighting is cruel.

And finally, we can’t unequivocally assistance on a ‘bear or bare?’ question. Should we stay au naturel or trim away?

That’s adult to we – whatever we consider hirsutes you, sir. (*curtseys*)

And one final dick pic tip – be really clever who we send a ideal final photos to.

You competence call your lady-love ‘Mummy’ in bed (we offer no settlement here…) though that doesn’t meant real-life Mum wants to see her boy’s small boy. Not again.

MORE: Woman sends central rejecting minute in response to dick pics

MORE: QUIZ: Should we send them a dick pic?

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Posted by on Feb 22 2017. Filed under Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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